So I'm experiencing something that I have not experienced in a long time and never to this degree. Unfortunately, it isn't fun. In fact, it's pretty ugly.
My pride.
Tonight, I was sitting a coffee shop listening to some wonderful music and went to get up to help the lady who was working bring in some chairs from outside. Instead, I kicked the table with my foot (accidently) and sent a big cup of coffee onto the floor (sorry Dilbone). It created quite the puddle on the floor. I started to clean it up and realized that it was worse than I expected. So where does the pride come into play? There were four people sitting there, whom I had just met, and they saw the whole thing. One of them instantly jumped up and asked if I was okay. (The hot coffee had spilled all over my hand as I tried to catch it.) I didn't really pay much attention to his question, but wanted to clean it up quickly. The more I cleaned up, the more my pride started hurting. It's a wierd feeling. I've not had to work through these emotions at this level before. Looking back, the event itself wasn't even all that bad. It isn't like I completely wiped out or did a flip in the air or anything. I think maybe it was because I had to ask for help? I don't know. All I know is that I left frustrated with myself because I had quickly let this become a heart issue. An ugly heart issue. I'm not even sure what to do next. I've been praying, asking God to forgive my pride... what else is there to do?
On the other hand, when I left, the owner's wife (he and his wife are parents in my room) told me that both her and her husband have noticed how happy I have been this year. She explained that I didn't look unhappy last year, but that this year I was just happier. (Did that sentence make any sense?) Anywayz, it was good to hear that a difference can be seen in my life. I truely am happier in the classroom.
m.a.b. - Last night went very well... at least as much as I stayed for. From what I can tell, more families showed up than had originally signed up for the event (no surprise there :) ) and the sheriff did make it!
Things to smile about today:
:) Recieving a picture of a family from El Salvador
:) a good book
:) (eventually) learning lessons that help me become more like Christ
My pride.
Tonight, I was sitting a coffee shop listening to some wonderful music and went to get up to help the lady who was working bring in some chairs from outside. Instead, I kicked the table with my foot (accidently) and sent a big cup of coffee onto the floor (sorry Dilbone). It created quite the puddle on the floor. I started to clean it up and realized that it was worse than I expected. So where does the pride come into play? There were four people sitting there, whom I had just met, and they saw the whole thing. One of them instantly jumped up and asked if I was okay. (The hot coffee had spilled all over my hand as I tried to catch it.) I didn't really pay much attention to his question, but wanted to clean it up quickly. The more I cleaned up, the more my pride started hurting. It's a wierd feeling. I've not had to work through these emotions at this level before. Looking back, the event itself wasn't even all that bad. It isn't like I completely wiped out or did a flip in the air or anything. I think maybe it was because I had to ask for help? I don't know. All I know is that I left frustrated with myself because I had quickly let this become a heart issue. An ugly heart issue. I'm not even sure what to do next. I've been praying, asking God to forgive my pride... what else is there to do?
On the other hand, when I left, the owner's wife (he and his wife are parents in my room) told me that both her and her husband have noticed how happy I have been this year. She explained that I didn't look unhappy last year, but that this year I was just happier. (Did that sentence make any sense?) Anywayz, it was good to hear that a difference can be seen in my life. I truely am happier in the classroom.
m.a.b. - Last night went very well... at least as much as I stayed for. From what I can tell, more families showed up than had originally signed up for the event (no surprise there :) ) and the sheriff did make it!
Things to smile about today:
:) Recieving a picture of a family from El Salvador
:) a good book
:) (eventually) learning lessons that help me become more like Christ
posted by Erica at 11:18 PM
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