Well, my impatient, impulsive side got the better of me this weekend. I've been wanting to get my hair cut for a week or so now... so, saturday Tonia and I went to a Fiesta. You never know what exactly you are going to get when you go in there, and so I took the chance. Needless to say, I did not get what I wanted. Not even close, actually... except that the ends now flip out easier. Anywayz, Tonia and I got to laughing so hard when we stepped out of the door. I don't know what the lady's idea of flipped out was, but it wasn't the same as mine. I looked like I was put in a wind tunnel with hairspray. It wasn't even an organized chaos... it was just chaotic. Almost an 80's punk rock gone way bad... It took me almost 30 min. to get it calmed down and lay in a style that was reasonable to be seen in. I really haven't had much time to play with it... I hope I learn to like it. Everyone says it looks cute... but I hate it. :) I have the mushroom head effect going...

Over the holiday break, my family (me not included) took a vote. They decided that I was moving back to Logan County. I'll admit that I like the idea of being close enough to see my family at the drop of a hat, but I like it up here too. And right now, this is where I think God wants me. I guess I haven't checked lately, but I haven't felt Him move me anywhere else. In fact, He has created leadership responsibilities here that I interpret as staying put and help develope and further the ministry. My family doesn't get that. They just want me home. Maybe in the far, far future. We'll see... in my mind... it's all up to God.

And there in lies a touchy situation... the "it's all up to God" part - (I would ask if I was normal, but I can only imagine the responses I would get... so I'll rephrase it.) Is it possible to be able to let God completely control one area of your life... and not others? And is it possible to let God completely control every area of your life that He has shown you to give over and yet be disappointed or hesitant as to what is really going to come about? Is it possible to feel an overall sense of peace about something, but have an emptiness at the same time? Does it show a lack of trust or an abundance of impatient moments when the emptiness is there and you have to force yourself to not focus on that, but the underlining peace?

I don't know... and I don't know if I'll ever know... It's almost as if God is letting me look through a window where only I can see the life that is waiting for me... and they can't see me to invite me in.

I have to go. I'm afraid I'm not good at thinking things through. If I continue typing I may put myself in a state of complete confussion... and I already can't find my way.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. It will be nice to see friends and listen to how their Thanksgiving break went.