Drama
I know that my nickname is Drama Queen, but come on. Is life from here on out this whir-windy (yes, I think I just made that word up ;) )? My thoughts are going at a crazy speed. And my emotions are not helping.
I need to make a decision... and probably the sooner the better. What I am having a hard time doing, is removing my emotions from the situation and looking at it from an "objective" point of view.
As you know, a few weeks ago I resigned from my job. I went through quite a bit to get to that point, including rethinking the wrong decision I had made. I didn't feel like I wanted to leave the school, but knew that the current position was not where I was suppose to be either. So, for the last few weeks, I have been talking to people and really able to share what and how God is working in my life. I went through the separation anxieties of leaving a comfortable place and also grieved over leaving. And over the last week or two, I have really become excited about meeting new people and possibly working in an environment that would allow me to be in contact with different people on a regular basis.
And then this morning came around. After applying for a job yesterday, a job became available in my own work place. I wouldn't really call it a promotion, but it would be an increase in pay (even though money isn't important, having more than $100 left over every month for gas and groceries is exciting to think about). I would be in a classroom, co-teaching with a wonderful lady and having great co-workers to help aid my easing back into the classroom.
So here are some of the thoughts that have gone through my mind today:
I could stay in an environment that I am familiar with.
The minor increase in pay is good. :)
Is this God opening the door or a path that branches off of what might be the "better" road?
Would I enjoy the teaching environment again? I left teaching a year ago... was I wearing too many hats and couldn't enjoy it anymore? Would I learn to enjoy it again? Do I have the patience to work with this age group?
Although this seems to be a common sense play, is it God's common sense or an earthly common sense?
Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?
I don't have the burning desire to be a teacher anymore...
When I think about not taking the job, my heart isn't broken.
I still have some excitement about experiencing new things.
This job would allow me to have the summers off for missions and/or photography.
Faith has always felt to me like I was taking the next step before knowing where my foot was going to land... now that a path has been revealed, why am I hesitant to run?
As of now, it is only a one year comittment. If it isn't right, then in one year I am in the same spot as today with a stronger resume. But can I sign a contract knowing that it may only be for one year. They need to get a teacher in that room that can establish leadership and be able to become head teacher within a few years.
I can't predict the future... I haven't even done a good job of predicting the end of the day!
Is it common or healthy to jump around to so many jobs withing the same work community?
It would calm my nerves about insurance.
I would use my degrees more directly.
There were more, but I'm tired. I'm promising myself to not make a decision for at least 48 more hours. I need more time to pray.
Pray for me, objectively. I want to do God's will. If this really is a choice of mine and not a right or wrong path, then I want to be confident.
I need to make a decision... and probably the sooner the better. What I am having a hard time doing, is removing my emotions from the situation and looking at it from an "objective" point of view.
As you know, a few weeks ago I resigned from my job. I went through quite a bit to get to that point, including rethinking the wrong decision I had made. I didn't feel like I wanted to leave the school, but knew that the current position was not where I was suppose to be either. So, for the last few weeks, I have been talking to people and really able to share what and how God is working in my life. I went through the separation anxieties of leaving a comfortable place and also grieved over leaving. And over the last week or two, I have really become excited about meeting new people and possibly working in an environment that would allow me to be in contact with different people on a regular basis.
And then this morning came around. After applying for a job yesterday, a job became available in my own work place. I wouldn't really call it a promotion, but it would be an increase in pay (even though money isn't important, having more than $100 left over every month for gas and groceries is exciting to think about). I would be in a classroom, co-teaching with a wonderful lady and having great co-workers to help aid my easing back into the classroom.
So here are some of the thoughts that have gone through my mind today:
I could stay in an environment that I am familiar with.
The minor increase in pay is good. :)
Is this God opening the door or a path that branches off of what might be the "better" road?
Would I enjoy the teaching environment again? I left teaching a year ago... was I wearing too many hats and couldn't enjoy it anymore? Would I learn to enjoy it again? Do I have the patience to work with this age group?
Although this seems to be a common sense play, is it God's common sense or an earthly common sense?
Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?
I don't have the burning desire to be a teacher anymore...
When I think about not taking the job, my heart isn't broken.
I still have some excitement about experiencing new things.
This job would allow me to have the summers off for missions and/or photography.
Faith has always felt to me like I was taking the next step before knowing where my foot was going to land... now that a path has been revealed, why am I hesitant to run?
As of now, it is only a one year comittment. If it isn't right, then in one year I am in the same spot as today with a stronger resume. But can I sign a contract knowing that it may only be for one year. They need to get a teacher in that room that can establish leadership and be able to become head teacher within a few years.
I can't predict the future... I haven't even done a good job of predicting the end of the day!
Is it common or healthy to jump around to so many jobs withing the same work community?
It would calm my nerves about insurance.
I would use my degrees more directly.
There were more, but I'm tired. I'm promising myself to not make a decision for at least 48 more hours. I need more time to pray.
Pray for me, objectively. I want to do God's will. If this really is a choice of mine and not a right or wrong path, then I want to be confident.
posted by Erica at 10:18 PM
4 Comments:
Very interesting. Given that I hadn't read this until just now. Yes, hmm similar comments to what I made - without knowing your own.
Here's the deal : we aren't born with a blueprint from God. If I can find it I'll bring you a book that is a quick read from Doug Samples - author, my girls Godfather - communion guy at their weddings - and husband of my co-founder!
God leads us through: His work, His disciples, our interests and the opportunitites that He does/does not make available.
Your felt led to lead and took the leap. It allowed me to have a full time opening for LS and therefore the comfort level available for TT for my own retirement to become a reality. It also gave us funds; in the nick of time; to get a contrat to TF for the 1/2 time that Upper is desperate for and the library time that the whole school needs!!!
You have done almost every job here - and this is truly a promotion - no doubt about it in my mind - it places you working directly with TH and the new Exec Director - with no one else in between. It is the whole and real work of this school and we truly need you - you are absolutely the patient caring consistent and dedicated person that is needed!!!
Love you - MAB
Oops - maybe God does lead through His work, but I meant to say Word!!!
:) MAB
OK, just my initial reaction for whatever it is worth.
Sometimes I think God doesn't care what we do. I think he has given me a mind and a propensity towards certain things because he wants me to feel happiness and fulfillment in my area of endeavour. The Bible says, everything we put our hands to will prosper.
Joseph found God's hand upon everything he touched. He had favor with the Paroh, then with the head of the jail, and finally he became the second in command of all of Egypt. Did God want Joseph to get to Egypt as a slave? No. He wanted Joseph to keep the dream in his heart, until it came to pass (like Mary did when she found out she was pregnant by the Holy Ghost). It was not God's desire for Joseph to suffer, but God's plan came to pass. His circumstances could not change God's plan as long as he was "seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness."
All that to say, I will be praying for you. I'm not sure where that sermon came from and I hope something I said can be an encouragement to you. Really, I am not usually such a preacher.
Oh and By the way, I will get you set up for Meet the Bloggers too!
Can you send me an email so I can get you set up for "Meet the Bloggers"? staceypacer@hotmail.com
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