Okay...

... so I know that I am at work, but there are things to be happy about today:

*A phone call from a parent, whom I have had to work overtime for, complemented me highly
(she found out this morning that I am not returning to the school and said she would keep me in mind and that I had exceptional skills... not just a nice comment, but one that came as a little bit of a shock considering past experiences... apparently I handled the situations well and she respects that!) :)
*Photography
*Friends
*God's protection

Construction Zone

... I changed the template of my blog prior to writting down the addresses to everyone's blog. If you could "comment" and leave your addresses, I would love to add you!

HOLE LEE COW...

If my inner thighs ever hurt this bad again...
Tonight was a challenge. Mentally and physically... and I only played softball! :) It has been so long since I have played. Like, since I was 12. Whew... I don't know about this. First of all, I was scared to death to get out there. It helped that there were youngins on the team, but still. All these guys that played last year and want to be able to claim the championship. I don't know. I wasn't confident in anything I was doing. And that may come... but the squating and standing and squating and standing. I played catcher because that is what I am most familiar with... I about lost my legs the first time I went to run after hitting the ball (which was a hurdle all on its own). But I kept to it. Now we'll see if keep to it next week. I have nothing as far as gear and I don't know if I am willing to put the money into it at this time. Maybe there would be more of a willingness if we didn't have enough team members for two teams! :) I think I might stick to the crowd and take pictures and cheer. We'll see.

So the pictures for the wedding turned out well. I am pleased with them, at least. The shots that I was concerned would not have enough light, turned out well. I hope they are pleased with them too.
I have my first photography lesson tomorrow! I am so excited. I'm sure I'll be blogging about it.
Hmmm... what else...

nothin!

Guess I'll see ya tomorrow.

The last four days have been interesting. Interesting isn't even the correct term... I just can't seem to find the right one. No surprise there, as I am not a fan of letters, but of numbers. Anywho... my eyes have been opened up to so much. I only hope that I can take everything in, remember it, and put it to good use when I need to recall upon this knowledge. Something is changing, something is at work, and somehow I am in the middle of it. What is it? I don't know. My mind can't even begin to imagine. I don't have a starting point. Obviously parts of my life have changed drastically, and although that road is exciting and well on it's way... I don't think it is the major part. It's internal. I think. I hope. Or maybe I'm just loosing it. Either way, God has my attention and I'm waiting for the curtain to be drawn back and the mystery revealed. My heart wants to lead me in a certain way, but I'm not sure I even trust it right now. My brain wants to lead in a similar direction, but it too has lost part of my trust. Therefore, I can only trust my Spirit... and following something so close... almost tripping over it... and realizing more everday how little I really know Him...

God has reminded me of the Isrealites and how they wandered for 40 years in a desert and then were taken to the promise land. They had to overcome physical hurdles, as well as emotional and spiritual. Their history and memories left them wanting the familiar. I think I've been muddling in the familiar. I haven't been following my Leader like I should. He has had to pick me up several times, dry me off and lead. Only for me to turn for a second, recognize what I know and run back to it. When will I stop? Have I already stopped... and this presence, so real I feel I could touch it, is leading me out of the desert and into a land I have never seen. But how do I know this is really what is going on? And what does the land I have never seen look like? I've never been in a world where emotional scars disappeared. Healed? yes... Removed and made new? no... Is that what God desires for me? To be able to recall wisdom and knowledge from those experiences, but never be reminded of them by sight of the scar again? Or do I have to choose not to look at the scar, but know that it's presence is still there?

I have no doubt that I have been healed of my past. So is this level of scars being removed even possible... and doesn't that question sound silly knowing that nothing is impossible for my God? How do I follow Him, not knowing where I am going, having the excitment of a little kid about ready to open her birthday gifts, and still be aware of what is happening today and not missing out on anything that He has for me becuase I am focused on tomorrow?



Huh... my intentions of blogging tonight did not begin in a spiritual sense. I'm not even sure where the above converstaion I just had with myself came from. I meant to blog about photography and the wedding I shot this weekend. But something really is going on. And I'll be honest... I don't think I can work through it on my own. I need wisdom. I have so many questions (as if that wasn't obvious :) ) and no way of answering them. One thing at a time...

Angels are shoutin' in Heaven!

Praise God! My Aunt Tonia (the one who is 11 days older than me) accepted the Lord into her life this Sunday! She had actually called my grandmother and said that she would not be able to make it because she wanted to get the yard work done. Well, she showed up and the preaching was on satan and his distractions. How he doesn't want you to go to church and he will make you think other things are important. It hit home and she made the decision to change! I am so excited, words don't even begin to express.

On a much less spiritual note... my brother and his friend went out and got Jack Russel puppies. They named them Duke and Bo. My brother has Bo. He wants to breed it with mom and Mike's Jack Russel who's name is Zoe. So, my mother, being the cute one that she is, said that the one of the puppies name should be Bozo. Yes, you may roll your eyes now. I did. :) Anywayz, there must be somthing in the air about getting puppies... I was reading the paper and saw a German Shepherd mix puppy for free!!!! It is so tempting to get a little puppy. I think it is a good thing that finances don't allow that right now! Besides... if I get a dog, I want a Bernise mountain dog.

Well, I'm off. I must go to bed. Good night!

12 miles in 3 days with 4 blisters in 1 spot... gotta love it :) more importantly, if this doesn't get me anywhere... I'm giving up. Granted I am not going to judge it just yet. I'll wait a month or two. We'll see...

I know I haven't blogged a lot lately, but I'm not really sure what to blog about. I've had no profound thoughts, great accomplishments or exciting adventures. Guess that proves I'm normal! Haaa!! Never thought I would prove that! :)

Since my last blog...

I've...
* had a wonderful spring break
* resigned from my job (more on this later)
* looked at some houses for sale... in Logan County
* been told about a possible head teaching position in Urbana
* prayed a lot
* thought about nearly everything
* prayed some more
* and am currently trying to wait as God unfolds the next step.

So it's later... :)

I'm not 100% sure why God has moved me or where He is moving me too, but I have a peace about it all. I know that He will provide... for all that are involved. It was very hard for me to tell those I love at the school that I would not be returning next year. But at the same time a calmness and peace came over me and the past four days have been drastically different. Mostly because my spirit has been lifted. It is the hardest thing to describe. And I've never felt it before. To be so sad about something, yet be at ease... Only God makes this possible, I'm sure. The positive thing through this, so far, is that I am able to witness to people. As people are finding out, I'm of course being asked why and where are you going. This has greatly opened the door for me to say that only God knows exactly and that I am trusting Him to provide the way. I am able to openly talk about prayer and fully submitting to His direction. The responses I have had vary greatly. I can tell by some, that they think I am nuts, and by others... that they understand completely.

But the question still remains... What will you do, where will you go? I don't know!!! ... and it's a little scary.

Anywayz, God is dependable and that is what I am standing on.